For our White allies who choose to go above and beyond and take the initiative to join in on protests in solidarity with Black Lives, as well as, Indigenous and People of Color (BIPOC), we share these guidelines. These guidelines were not created by us but we share it as a resource when, as BIPOC people, we are asked by White folks, how can they participate while keeping BIPOC people safe (besides wearing a mask and trying to keep social distance even while protesting):

1. Remember that you will be treated differently by the police than our BIPOC siblings - act accordingly.
2. Keep your main objective to NOT get arrested but PLAN TO BE ARRESTED - white folks getting arrested uses police resources and that's one less of our BIPOC siblings that there's room for in the police wagon or jail cell. This means to let someone know you'll be at the protest and when you will check in, make arrangements for your pets and responsibilities, set aside (or make arrangements for) bail money for yourself and at least one BIPOC. Don't carry ID and remove fingerprint and facial passcodes from your phone - the time it takes for police to ID you uses resources and limits the number of people they can process.
3. Do not taunt or provoke police in any way. They are eagerly waiting for an excuse to go "full riot" and will go past you to take aim for our BIPOC siblings. Do not throw things, damage things, set things on fire, push at or scream at police. Do not provoke police in any way so that our BIPOC siblings don't have to pay for our actions.
4. If you see other white folks provoking police, surround them and stop them. The white folks provoking police are either police plants or provocateurs. Do not give them space to harm our BIPOC siblings.
5. Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open. Do not "take the stage" from BIPOC. We are there in a support role, not a starring role. Be on the look-out for provocateurs and police plants and protect our BIPOC siblings.
6. If the police demand that the crowd disperse, pay attention to our BIPOC siblings. If they are not in a position to disperse, lock arms with the white folks around you and form a line between the police and our BIPOC siblings. Place your white body between the police and BIPOC siblings. Pay attention to your surroundings and to police movements as they attempt to cut off or surround our BIPOC siblings. As our BIPOC siblings are being arrested, get arrested with them, stay with them, and advocate for their safety.
7. If you can not get arrested but want to help, be a contact person for someone who is able to get arrested, help out at water or medic stations, hold vigil at the jail until the last person is released.
8. Trans and non-binary White people, try not to get arrested. You will be treated differently than cis white people who get arrested. If you are a cis white person, be aware of the trans and non-binary people around you. If they get arrested, be sure to get arrested with them, stay with them, and advocate on their behalf. (This is also true for DEAF or disabled people who may not be able to comply with police demands and may be misunderstood by police. Do not risk arrest.)
9. Do not carry any type of weapon to the protest. The white people with weapons are the police plants or provocateurs. Use your phone or camera to document police and provocateur actions. Do not share images of protesters on social media.
10. Do not let your anger overshadow your support role for our BIPOC siblings. This isn't about you.

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If you are queer and/or otherwise, non-binary, whether you're White or not, see this additional guidance from the National Center for Transgender Equality:

Participating in Direct Actions: A Guide for Transgender People

The ACLU has been doing this work since the 1920's. They've put together a guide of your rights, as a protester, here:

Rights of Protesters

They also publish an app for your mobile phone to assist with #9 above. It is called MobileJusticeCA. Along with providing basic info about your right to record, if you configure the app settings, you can also have it lock your phone after you capture a recording in the app automatically. It can even be configured to send your location to others when you trigger the app. Again, we are not advocating for the app, just providing the fact that apps exist out there to help you be a better protester, ally and most importantly, keep everyone as safe as possible while agitating.
​
​iOS or Android

​There are also apps out there to secure your communications, as well. If you would like additional one-on-one guidance, feel free to reach out to the chapter at:

​via email: sgvapipflag@gmail.com
Sung Tse PFLAG SGV Co-president: kingmidas4@gmail.com
via our FB page – https://www.facebook.com/pg/sgvapipflag/community/?ref=page_internal
For urgent support, visit pflag.org/hotlines for an up-to-date list of emergency hotline numbers, available nationwide.

 (VidoAt this time, we'd like to highlight the Letter for Black Lives project, written by concerned Asian Americans. We're offering it to our community as a resource and not as an endorsement of either organization, Letters for Black Lives or Black Lives Matter (BLM). Just to be clear though, San Gabriel Valley API PFLAG does stand in solidarity with the Black community and against anti-Blackness. The letter is not meant to be a perfect document but as a starting point to have conversations, in-language, which is what America needs right now. Review the 30-page Conversations Guide. Then, choose your preferred language below:

• English
• Chinese (Simplified)
• Chinese (Traditional)
• ​Hindi
• Japanese
• Korean (Video)
• Tagalog
• Thai
• Vietnamese

Additional Asian languages (many are from the 2016 letter and not the 2020 letter due to availability):

• Bahasa (Indonesian)
• Bahasa (Malaysian)
• Bangla
• Burmese (Video)
• Hmong
• Khmer
• Lao
• Nepali
• Sylheti
• ​Tamil (Video)
• Telugu
• Urdu

A lot is happening right now with the COVID-19 pandemic effecting the world, hitting hardest in the US and the recent killing of George Floyd in Minnesota causing intense civil unrest across the US and abroad while we're all supposed to practice social distancing. While we're home, helping our families understand what's happening may be something we can do at this difficult time as we spend so much more time with close family. For API communities, that can be especially hard without in-language resources to support that conversation on how each community relates to the Black community.

As mentioned, every API community has a different relationship with the Black community so we realize that any in-language translation from an English letter may land differently, including for the Korean community which has a specific history in the US with the Black community. Our hope is that by providing these resources to each community, no matter where they start, it will lead us to families that are better and that respects each others' values, no matter what our skin color may be.

Your health and well-being is the top priority for our PFLAG chapter. With that in mind, we encourage everyone to participate during this time at the level that they feel comfortable at while staying safe, whatever that means for you. To continue the conversation, we encourage you to join us at our monthly virtual meetings on the Zoom video conferencing platform, as well.

MONTHLY PFLAG SUPPORT MEETING ON ZOOM
DATE & TIME:  4th Sunday of every month, 3 - 5 PM

If you need help with family sooner than the next virtual meeting, PFLAG San Gabriel Valley leaders are available to provide you with support. Please reach out to us as follows:
 
via email: sgvapipflag@gmail.com
Sung Tse PFLAG SGV Co-president: kingmidas4@gmail.com
via our FB page – https://www.facebook.com/pg/sgvapipflag/community/?ref=page_internal
For urgent support, visit pflag.org/hotlines for an up-to-date list of emergency hotline numbers, available nationwide.

I once talked to a person who I had known for a few years.  One day, after exchanging pleasantries, I thought I'd bring up a non-controversial topic that did not involve religion.  However, as a precaution, I asked if he thought that the Earth was billions of years old or just 12,000 years old.  He shocked me when he said that it could be 6,000 or up to 12,000 years old.  He then explained to me how he got to that conclusion.  "Just think about it,"  he said, "If you think of the many technical advances made in the past 50 years, think of how far we would be if the world was billions of years old!"  I changed the topic.  People with such beliefs are sometimes called the "young Earth believers."

In my previous career as an elementary school teacher, I often began the school year by reading the story of The Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister to my new class of bright-eyed first graders.  More than half of my students were still learning English, getting used to a group setting where they had to learn the concept of taking turns, while their parents were either unfamiliar with the American public school system or eager to get their child settled in to a new routine.  Each new setting unavoidably produces initial feelings of social anxiety as all of us need and wish for a sense of belongingness in our social environment. My first lessons focused on building a community in my classroom; a collective group who would respect and share their cultural differences and value their uniqueness as an asset. I wanted my students and their families to know that our classroom celebrated who they are, where they come from, the languages they spoke, appreciated where they lived and valued what they have or do not have. 

When I read the story of the Rainbow Fish to my class, I used the main character's narcissist personality traits in addressing aspects of privilege, human condition, individual differences, pluralism, and globalism. For me, the fish symbolized all these qualities of existence. In actuality, the story was about this fish who swam in new waters and all the other plain-looking fish marveled at the Rainbow Fish's glimmering, colorful scales. Many of them asked him if they can have a sample of just one of his scales to brighten their own presentation.  Rainbow Fish haughtily said "No!" and swam away.  Pretty soon, the other fish realized that he was not interested in getting to know them; perceiving them inferior, so they left him alone.  Rainbow Fish became lonely. Realizing that beauty was not about parading one's advantage, Rainbow Fish began to share his colorful scales. Soon, his circle for friends and connection to the sea creatures grew. 

After our November 24, 2012, "Post-Thanksgiving Mixer with Our Rainbow Family" event, I fondly recalled those memories of my students and their families.  I thought about how I held those moments so near and dear to my heart.  It was a special segment of my life; an opportunity to build new relationships every year with new sets of families.  Just as in May of 2012, discovering and becoming involved in SGV API PFLAG would forever change my role as a mother.  After the November meeting, I wrote the following thank you note to my new Rainbow Family:

"Holidays come and go; the anticipation, anxiety, preparations, and ensuring that every aspect, word and deed, and that everyone is acknowledged, all come with the territory of consolidated events with family and friends whom we hold near and dear. This describes who each one of you are to us and with one another!

This past November SGV API PFLAG group meeting and "mixer", themed "Thanksgiving with Our Rainbow Family" was a special time in which we shared some of our memories in the past few months that we have known each other, and it was also a time to welcome new faces. 

Our group is filled with so much love and care.  It was as if our hearts and soul were served up on a silver platter; available for all to take part in its contents; its ingredients of:  vulnerability, trust, deep sense of kinship, honest sharing of frailty, of significant events in our own lives, of a collective purpose to always strive for justice, no matter what the color of our skin is, and most especially, who we are. 

It was a special honor to have each one of you, as individuals, to have shown and stayed at this gathering.  We shared tables and meals.  We shared smiles, laughter, well-wishes, and hugs.  We shared experiences; some borne out of deep-rooted culture.  SGV API PFLAG is a place of acceptance; of unconditional love; a venue to say what we feel; to cry when we need to; to practice how we are to move about the outside world who needs to become aware of the beauty of pure love.

Perhaps it takes me in so many words to express my sincerest gratitude for all that you are.  Having you as part of our meeting is a blessing indeed.  A simple "Thank you for being there" does not adequately convey how much you made a tremendous difference one another.

There is also one individual whose love and work sometimes goes unnoticed because he is part of the backbone and machinery of these gatherings.  I would like to recognize and thank Andre Ting for providing us our regular meeting venue. 
His generosity in allowing the SGV API PFLAG to use his facility for free began in April 2012.  He sets up tables, chairs, restrooms, and gives time in continuing to reach out to other LGBT organizations and bringing to their awareness the existence of SGV API PFLAG.  Andre has recruited many of our attendees, due to his involvement with the Chinese Rainbow Association, Asian Pride Council, the coordination of the Afternoon Tea with Asian Parents, to name a few.  We are fortunate to have a fairly centralized location to meet, all solely due to Andre's support.

Finally, the Leadership Team of SGV API PFLAG wholeheartedly express how proud and privileged we are to have you with us and we hope that you will return.  Though the November meeting was more of a "mixer", and not our regular support group meeting format, we hope that you will return to experience what you may have endeavored to find:  a safe space where you can express yourself within an empathetic and culturally-sensitive setting.  Our SGV API PFLAG is all about inter-generational dialogue.  It is for LGBTQ persons; for API parents/family members of LGBTQ, and for straight allies. 

The end-of-the-year is upon us.  This time of year always prompts us to reflect upon the past year and to renew our hopes, dreams, and goals for the next year: 2013.  Please know that the SGV API PFLAG will continue to be a CONSTANT source of love and support in your lives and also in our lives.  This is a mutual relationship and one that is everlasting.  You are no longer in the company of strangers, but of loving extended family members!"

- Carol Mannion